Welcome to India

G’day all,
Well I have been in India for 4 days now and mate what a 4 days it’s been. I don’t think I have ever seen such a crazy crazy crazy place in any one stage of my eventful life so far. I flew in to Delhi on Friday night and was so determined to not get ripped off that I followed my Lonely Planet guide like a bible. At the airport I met this cool bloke from Taiwan named Leon who was heading to the backpacker area too so we caught a bus from the airport together. We were the only foreigners on the bus and were welcomed to India with a friendly sign on the backs of the bus seats saying “LOOK UNDER YOUR SEAT THERE COULD BE A BOMB RAISE ALARM EARN REWARD”...... I was like yeah welcome to India Pauly. I finally found myself a room after dragging my titanic sized backpack through this dodgy backpacker come cow lined street for a good half hour. I was so relieved just to put my bag down and relax for a bit when I got there. My room was pretty Elizabeth/Hakem West ghetto but for 6 bucks who’s complaining right it’s India. After settling in I went for a stroll around town and slid me thong through a nice fresh cow borrie (although part of me still thinks it may have been an old Indian mans curry from last night). The next morning I met up with me mate Leon to go check out the Red Fort together. We bargained with a few rickshaw (tuk-tuk) drivers until we eventually got this poor old Indian bloke to ride us there on his cycle rickshaw for 40 Rupees ($1.20 Aus). We thought it was just around the corner but didn’t expect it to be 30 mins of hard slogging in the heat away. I swear I felt so sorry for this poor old bugga slaving away for us with no gears on his bike. He was sweating like a pig and had to walk it at times because he was too exhausted to peddle. I ended up chipping him a 100 R for his hard work and he nearly fainted as if he had won the lottery. This place makes Cambodia look rich. I’ve never seen anything like it and if you came here let me tell you it would blow your mind and open it at the same time. Heading into the Red Fort the men and women had different lines for the security check. I was patted down as you do before being groped in the privates and was left in a state of shock. I mean if it was a nice looking young lass then no dramas but not this slimy old Indian man with a big grin. The fact he had a shiny machine gun strapped to his back forced me to take it like a bitch and just walk on in with a nose laugh and a red face. The Red Fort was pretty snazzy but no where near as entertaining as just walking down an average street in Delhi. We caught the metro back to our street and I had never felt so stared at in my life on that train. The Indian people just eyeball you up and down as if you’re wearing a bikini and they have dark sunnies on. I really don’t know whether I feel famous or intimidated but I guess I should stop telling them I’m Shane Warne’s younger brother. On the walk back from the metro we saw a body wrapped in cloth being carted down the road 1 meter from us and that’s when I realize this aint no Burnside Village. The other funny thing you see here everywhere is cows just roaming the streets everywhere and just crossing roads and standing on medium strips just staring at the traffic. On Saturday night we checked out New Delhi which was much more civilized than Old Delhi and it was actually nice and clean and they even had bins, lawn, and footpaths. Yesterday I caught a train up to Agra, the home of the world famous “Taj Mahal”. The train ride was kind of interesting as I had another Indian bloke staring at me for 4 hours straight. I felt like clocking him one in the snozza but what can you do hey. Every 30 seconds someone walks up to you trying to sell you something in the most high pitch Hindi voice they can manage. Everything from toy machine guns to zips were offered to us and even Indian lady boy beggars popped in to say G’day. It would have had to been around 40 degrees yesterday but luckily I managed to find myself a nice room fairly fast once arriving in Agra. They cool thing about my hotel here is they have a roof top restaurant overlooking the Taj Mahal and it’s literally only a few hundred meters away from it too. After a powernap I went for a stroll and ended up playing cricket with some Indian kids in a side alley and almost hit a 6 over the fence of the Taj Mahal. I couldn’t believe how many monkey are just roaming this town. On each roof sits sometimes up to 8 or 10 highly active monkeys. On they way back home there was a power black out (about the 7th since arriving in India) and Agra become somewhat scarier with all these monkeys swinging off buildings everywhere and jumping from roof top to roof to over your head in pitch black. After a disgusting green curry I had an early night as I woke up at 5:30am today to watch the sunrise over the Taj Mahal. The gates opened at 6am and I was one of the first ones in for the day. The beauty of this palace is quite amazing and to see it in real life and watch the sun come up over it is an experience that has to be done. After stressfully and finally getting the famous photo with the Taj through all the tourists I got myself a guide and learnt all about the history of the Taj which is almost as amazing as the look of it alone. I spent a few hours there then chipped some Indian kids a couple of bucks to take me on a Camel ride to the Agra fort which was also really impressive. I was absolutely buggered after that and came back to the hotel and slept for hours and through a lazy 4 black outs. I got up just before dark and went for one of the craziest and coolest walks I’ve ever done. I decided to walk away from the tourist area and get myself lost in the labyrinth of alleyways they have in Agra. The further I got away from the Touristy area the more amazing it became. I became an instant celebrity as literally 40 to 50 Indian kids and Adults would swarm around me at a time and want to shake my hand and talk to me as if they’ve never seen a white man before. One man pulled me up on stage at this street concert and presented me with flowers as a gift and said “Welcome to my country my friend”. Everywhere I walked people waved and smiled and stared at me and 2 out 3 people would ask what my name was and want to shake my hand. It was an incredible experience but also makes me glad I'm not famous because it gets so wearing after an hour. Well it’s a full moon tonight and I'm about to go up to the roof top to look at the Taj being lit up with the moon light. Tomorrow I take an overnight train to Varanasi to check out the Ganges River so I that should be really cool. Update ya all from there troops.

Woodsy....safe and well in Agra, India